The Browns – An Anthropologist Best Scary Dream

An Anthropologist Best Scary Dream

I am so excited to recapping “Sister Wives!” I have been gawking at this mismatched bunch since the beginning, and now that we know that a hierarchy shift in the harem is on the horizon, I will be looking at this mess with a whole new and extra disgusted perspective. Let’s get right to it!

The show kicks off with a family meeting, where the kids learn that two college anthropology students are going to come hang out on Brown Street to study how a family with one legal wife and three mistresses live. Kody thinks that his family is an anthropologist’s best scary dream, and Meri asks the kids if they think that they do

different “stuff” than monogamists do. They all say heck YES, just ask the kids at school, and Kody turns red, and says nothing.

We then sit in on an extremely high brow convo between a professor and the two students, Richard and Antoinette, expounding on the anthropologically dreamy opportunity the Browns present to figure out who the sex wife (Robyn), the mother wife (), the love wife (Robyn) actually are. They all wish to discover what the women complain about when the Kodes isn’t around, and are reminded that another “wife” could be just on the horizon, which brings a look of sheer terror over Antoinette. The Browns meet with the students, who want to be treated like flies on a wall, and learn that one of them is kinda spiritual and one of them is an atheist, and both are intellectually miles above us all. 

 

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The students meet the family, and nail Kody as a showboating attention hog right off the bat. Richard comments that Kody loves his long stringy hair, being delusionally cool, and having four women PMSing at his feet. Robyn is off her game, (when have we ever seen her on ANY game?) and is worried that these students may not believe that polygamy is as functionally hip as they do. It’s dinner time at Christine’s, and Antoinette jumps in to help with the cooking, with Richard propounding that there are too many darn kids to not completely lose a few on a daily basis. Kody tries to banter like a groovy college student about the origins of monogamy, and admits that he really does hope that his obvious rad factor is showing. Richard and Kody run into each other like two sparring bucks during a backyard game time, then we observe Kody torching their dinner. Kody and the harem pull the supposed prank of the century by having the women feed Kody bites of food, and the students don’t even blink at the hysterically lame spectacle. The Browns raise the hilarity meter by shoving smores down Kody’s throat, and the overworked attempt at humor is embarrassing.

The Brown attendants frolicking fun brings encouraging scholarly amusement to Richard and Antoinette. Kodes offers Robyn and Meri (in that order) to lick smores off his beard, and it is revolting. Robyn gets peeved because the students openly share their relationship lifestyle choices, and Robyn thinks that the children are not ready to absorb such horrifying monogamous ideas. We sit in on the Brown family church service, and it’s obvious that many of the older kids have passed on Pastor Kodes’ sermon. Janelle believes that they are trying to figure out their own way, or just have too much homework to take an hour off. We learn that Janelle’s daughter, Madison, is joining the Mormon church, and the family dramatically convenes to discuss the unexpected choice, bringing cerebral delight to the students. We learn that Madison had been depressed, and she feels peace within that church. Janelle is worried that she will feel less at peace within her own dysfunctional tribe, but is OK with it.

The Browns pull out the big leisure guns, head to the movies, and drop a ton of cash on tickets and concessions. The evening wraps with Garrison decking Gabriel in the parking lot, and it’s filmed like an episode of Cops. The snotty students obnoxiously analyze the teenage brouhaha, and Janelle is embarrassed by her two ridiculously uncool kids. Kody gathers the teen brawlers together, and with a fling of his super groovy mane, demands answers. Gabriel retells his side of the incident, and Garrison explains that he thought that snagging the front seat was hilarious, and that Gabe smacked him first. The spat is treated like something that deserves the death penalty, and everyone is horrified that their far­out cover is blown in front of America. The two students are acting like they want to date by the end of the episode, and we learn that the bookish pair continues with the Browns next week. See you then!